Dana Spencer - Organ and Tissue Donor
It has been five years. In some ways it feels like it was yesterday, and in some ways it feels like another lifetime. Dana's sister Cara, completed her undergraduate work and is now working in the pharmaceutical industry. Her little brother Ross, who was only seven then, is now twelve and so much like Dana it is scary. Pattie and I feel like recovering alcoholics, trying to make it through one day at a time. In the subsequent years we have learned a lot; a lot about life, a lot about death, and a lot about grief. Through Mid-America we found a group that helps families cope with loss, Kid's Clubhouse. It's run by a couple of saints walking around in human clothing. I highly recommend them to anyone. We also got the chance to get to know Justin and his family. I mentioned above that the media followed Justin's story on the TV News so Pattie and I knew what he and his family looked like. It is strange how fate works. One day, about two months after the transplant, I was trudging down Broadway on my way to work. I had been told that Justin's mom, Vanessa, worked at Boatmen's Bank but I never expected what was about to happen. On the same sidewalk, coming toward me was a tall, African-American woman. I'd never seen her in person, but I knew her instantly, it was Vanessa Hughes. Should I say hello? Could I say hello? "Mrs. Hughes?" was all I could get out. She looked at me funny, but replied, "Yes…" "I'm Dana Spencer's father." It seemed to take her a second for the name to register; then a flood of emotions ran across her face. Mine too, I imagine. I can't remember exactly what happened next, but I know she hugged me, I hugged her, and we stood there crying onto each other's shoulders right there on Broadway and Washington at eight o'clock in the morning. Then in April, at the Candlelight March, we got to meet Justin. There were more hugs and more tears. In the subsequent years, we have been blessed to be able to get to know the Hughes family. Pattie and I have watched Justin grow and flourish. We were saddened to see them move to Philadelphia, and then happy when they moved back. Recently we felt the same pangs of anxiety that Vanessa felt when Justin turned sixteen, old enough to drive. About a year ago, Vanessa called me and told me she wanted to start the Larry Hughes Foundation. For those of you who do not know, Larry is Justin's older brother, and he plays basketball for the Golden State Warriors. Vanessa had experienced, first hand, the financial hardships that are associated with transplant surgery, even with good health care coverage. Her idea was to help families with kids who were involved in organ transplants, whether recipients or donors. She asked me to be on her Board of Directors. I was surprised and delighted. Since then the Foundation has grown, not as fast as we had hoped, but we have been able to raise some corporate and individual donations. Recently we gave our first grant to a family whose little girl had to wait for months, but as of today seems to be doing very well. So five years have passed. We still miss our Dana so much; she was such a joy. But it helps to know she lives on. She lives, not only in Justin Hughes, but also in brother Larry, in their mother Vanessa too. But, in addition, she lives in other recipients, not only those who got one of her organs, but in any recipient. She lives on in the hands of the surgeons who perform those miracles. She lives in the hearts of people who just signed their donor cards, in the caseworkers at Mid-America who go out and ask families to make a very tough decision. She is there on Thursday mornings when volunteers are stuffing envelopes. And she is smiling... that smile, that wonderful, beautiful smile. |
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